Love is in their lives
by bengirl
Summary: After "love me not"... When Ben succombed to heat exhaustion, who had should appear but Joan Wingate, the young woman he had rescued from the Paiutes. Only now she had married. Henry Dexter, but did she still have feelings for Ben? And did he have feelings for her? Could their love possibly have a second chance ? Life provided surprises and brought Joan back into Ben's live.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE  
in 1858; on Tuesday, January 26th

« Yes, I do... »

Pronounced by an assured, firm masculine voice. Answer given to famous question  
« Do you take, Adam Cartwright for your lawfully wedded husband ?»  
On this cold but sunny day, Francesca Ellen Gale, the 21-year-old daughter of Joseph Gale trapper of fur, and of Eliza. She is an american indian of the tribe Walla Walla, daughter of the Nez Percés chiefs. She married a man from Virginia City one of the most eligible men of the time. She won his heart with her strong character and rare elegance. She and her parents started a quiet life in Virginia City, a small city in full expansion. Her family had to face terrible events, and they had stories to tell during winter parties. They were able to tell how they avoided the terrible earthquake of Strong Tejon, January 9th, 1857. Joseph Gale and his family were hurt in the collapse of their home and their lives were only saved thanks to the father's cool-mindedness. He pushed his wife and his children outside the walls which were shaking dangerously...

***** in Ponderosa  
Ben was sitting down comfortably , his hands crossed behind his neck, gazing at the ceiling, with a vacant look, lost in his own thoughts. A month had past. It was one month since his son Adam had emptied his room and had left home... Adam and his wife Francesca had settled on the land of the Ponderosa ranch, in a wooden and stony home that Adam had previously built... A home full of originality symbolizing the love existing between this ingenious engineer and this extraordinary woman, with her rich cultural past... Their home was round. Several windows had been put so that the sunlight entered the main room throughout the day. There was a large bedroom on the ground floor and three bedrooms upstairs to welcome the future children of the couple. More than one had been surprised by this unusual home, and even more surprised, to say the least, by the unconventionnal wedding of the eldest son of Benjamin Cartwright. But the Cartwright family had never been stopped from doing what they wanted to do by other people's negative comments.

****later  
Ben was riding on his horse in the plain. He was coming back from Virginia City, an important business had kept him away from home and it was already late evening. He was hurrying to get back to the ranch, not at all wanting to stay outside on such a cold dark march evening.

« Go on Buck, be brave, the hardest is over... I know , you've got frozen legs... You'll soon be in the barn with the hay. »

Ben stroked the neck of the horse, already thinking about the warm meal, Hop Sing would have prepared for him.

« I can't wait for us to be home. »

The thin gloves he was wearing gave him very little protection against the cold... Fortunately the wind didn't get any stronger, it was already blowing hard enough when he had left Virginia City. He turned up as high as possible the collar of his thick topcoat and tightened a little more the wool scarf around his neck... A greenish-grey wool scarf, which Marie had given him on the morning of their first Christmas together.

-Wahooooooooooo, Buck, easy...

No time to finish his sentence. Surprised, scared, Buck reared and threw Ben on the soil. The fall was spectacular, fortunately the snow softened it... Ben leaned up on his elbow, feeling dazed from the fall he shook his head from left to right to regain full consciousness.

-ouch...

He felt a violent pain when he moved his left hand, he managed to stand up. He made a quick analysis of his situation. He was alone in the snow, with a sore, perhaps fractured wrist and no more horse...Not a pleasant situation but it could have been worse. He knew, Buck would be able to ride back to the ranch or come back to him. The Cartwright animals were all exceptionnal animals and all had this sixth sense.

Ben now had to walk, he forced his way through the snow ... Buck's tracks were very clear so he could easily follow them. But Ben wondered about what could have scared his horse he had known Buck for a long time and the horse had never been so nervous before. Something must have frightened him... Ben hadn't heard any gunshots, nor seen anything worrying. But Buck had probably reacted to something.

Suddenly, Ben saw a dark mass coming towards him... A wolf, obviously alone. An old solitary male. He didn't look very aggressive and just walked past him.  
Ben thought, he had been a very lucky guy, the animal must have eaten before coming accross him.  
«I was lucky , I would have been a good meal. »

Ben continued his slow progress home, still alone in the snow, without a horse and without a weapon . In fact he prefered to be in that poor situation, rather than to be safely at home, waiting for one of his sons . He had spent so many hours getting anxious because one of his boys had not come back to the nest. And even though Adam was now standing on his own two feet, and Hoss and Joe would soon be doing the same, he was always keen to know that his sons were safe and sound. People could say, that Ben Cartwright had mothered them a little bit too much, but the truth was that he had always been there for his three sons. He was one of the happiest menin the world, with only one regret not to be with someone to share that happiness. Sometimes this sadness would tighten his throat so much that he couldn't issue a sound... But no, he never complained; he kept this for himself.

He had come to accept living alone, he had pleasant moments with friends and family, but lonelyness was always there at the end of the day when he was alone in his room. He was in his big cold bed and couldn't enjoy the pleasure of being in the arms of a woman he loved.

At this moment he started to think about Joan, who had left him, she had gone far from Ponderosa; far from him... He would be lying if he said that he had let her leave without any regrets. She had chosen to go to wait for her baby in her tribe. She had left shortly after the death of her husband. He had been killed in the saloon by a man. The man his own mother had paid to ruin his wedding. Poor Henry.  
Ben was hoping that someone had taken care of her. He had thought so often about her and her baby.

CHAPTER TWO

******** Later  
-Come in quickly...

Adam with an energic voice just gave those orders. As his frozen exhausted father came inside, he closed the door. At this moment Adam noticed that his father wasn't alone, he was carrying somebody.

- Lay him on the sofa.

Ben had had just enough strength to walk towards Adam's house.

-Pa, you must remove your jacket and your shirt. Come close to the fire, and drink that hot coffee, it will warm you. »

« Son, don't talk to me that way, I'm not a child ».

Ben didn't accept the imperious tone from his eldest son

-Pa, please, do what I say ... You're frozen. I don't want you to be sick. »

Ben Cartwright did what he was told to do. His jacket was almost frozen around his body.

-You know son, I can resist to the cold ».

-Pa, you know very well that a bad flu can kill a man in only a few days. The stronger men are, the more their lungs are thin. Do you remember Carl, the way he died after having been in the cold ?

-Yes, yes... all right, I've got the message... »

Ben removed his shirt and pointed with his finger to the flannel binder he had put around his waist.

-Look at this, Adam. With that, I'm not cold. »

But Adam didn't look at his father, he started to rub the body lying on the sofa. He called his wife :

-Francesca, bring me a cover, please. »

Adam touched the body on the sofa, took off the outdoor clothes, including the broad scarf and only then did he recognise the person who had been brought there by his father.

« But it's... Joan.

As Ben heard the name, he stopped drinking his coffee and came close to the sofa :

-Joan, can you hear me ?

He looked at her with anxious eyes. She started to move, started to open her eyes, pointing her finger towards the pile of clothes and blankets that Adam had just taken off her.

-the blankets, quick, please, look inside them.

Adam and Ben did not understand. She sat up, agitated, and moved her arms to reach the pile of covers that Adam had just put on the ground. Delicately, he opened it, as if it were a precious present, he removed the topcoat, the blankets and three shawls.

-Pa, look !

Ben bent over and looked : there was a baby. Adam gently touched the baby's cheek.

-His skin is warm, pa. Baby seems to be fine. Pa, how could this baby have survived in the cold and in the snow ?

-Only God knows , son.

He smiled at Joan, a smile full of tenderness.

-Your son is alive, Joan. Joan, trust me. He is fine.

-Not he, she... It is Rozene Cassandra. »

And she touched her baby; she stroked her little girl's cheek. The baby opened her mouth, moved her arms.

*****  
Ben finished a second cup of coffee, he was now wearing Adam's shirt, Francesca had brought clothes for him. She was now close to her husband, smiling at the baby and her mom. Both were fine. Explanations would come later. She noticed the baby was wearing clothes with indian drawings.

******  
Ben did not spend the night at Asibikaashi, Francesca's and Adam's home. They named it after a sacred legend about a spider called "Asibikaashi." It would protect the children of the tribe by weaving its web above the place where they slept. Bad dreams, bad thoughts and bad vibrations would remain hung in the web and would be destroyed by the morning sun.

Ben borrowed one of Adam's horses and rode to the Ponderosa. He went down from his horse and walked towards the ranch. Joe ran towards him. Hoss and Hop Sing quickly followed as they hurried to welcome him.

"Ah, there you are, pa. How do you feel?", Hoss asked.

« I'm fine, son, thanks"

"Did you spend the night outside?"

"No, I was at Adam's house. It is a long story, boys, a very long story. Let me come in and I'll tell you everything."

Ben started telling of his adventure. He told them about the fall, the meeting with the wolf and delivered a complete narration of Joan's rescue.

"How is she?"

"She is fine, Hoss. She is resting at your brother's home, and we will be able to go and visit her soon."

"I am very impatient to see her. I missed her so very much," added Hoss, as he was obviously filled with emotion.

"In fact, Joan has had her baby and I've just met the most adorable little girl I have ever seen," Ben said .

"She has had her baby? She has had a girl?" yelled Joe.

"Yes, but don't worry, she was wrapped up so warmly that the cold didn't even nip at her nose. She was so well wrapped up in blankets and the tartan from her mother that I didn't even see her."

"Pa..."

« I was very surprised, Hoss, I didn't expect this either."

"But I don't understand, pa. You found her where...on the track?"

"Practically, she was huddled up behind a rock. After Buck threw me, I followed his tracks and accidently found her. I think she was trying to come to the Ponderosa."

"But why?"

"I don't know Joe."

"You sure seem happy to see her again."

"It would be a lie if I said I wasn't. It wasn't goodbye forever."

"Yes, she has come back." Hoss replied.

CHAPTER THREE

As Francesca came through the door, she said to Joan with a quiet voice:

"Sorry, did I disturb you?"

"No, come in. I was just getting up."

"No, no...stay where it is warm. Would you like a cup of good milk? Do you want some coffee?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm sorry, can you tell me your name, I've forgoten.

"Francesca."

Francesca sat down in a chair close to the bed. As she was straightening her dress, the baby's cries broke the silence in the room. Joan pulled back the covers and got up to go to see her daughter.

"I think my coffee will have to wait. This little girl wants to eat now."

"No, don't get up...I'll bring her to you. Your daughter is so cute. I hope I'll soon be expecting a baby. A girl or a boy.

« I am sure Adam would like to have a son...a future Cartwright."

Francesca smiled.

"Well, he will have to accept what the good Lord will give us."

"Yes, of course."

Francesa took the baby in her arms and brought her to Joan. She unbuttoned her dress and gently turned the baby's head to her chest and the baby started to suckle. Soft whimpering sounds came from the baby as the warm milk slightly appeared in the corners of the baby's mouth.

"I would like some coffee with milk now, please."

"I will get you some."

"Thank you, Francesca."

Joan lovingly placed her hand on Francesa's forearm, she looked at her, no words were spoken.

CHAPTER FOUR  
Two weeks later.

The snow had covered the ground, it was now cold. The winter was long and hard but inside was warm and the minutes were filled with laughter from two very happy people, outside snow was falling all around the Ponderosa pines , in the silence of the cold night, thousands of stars were shining in the dark sky.

Baby Rozene-Cassandra didn't know the difference between night and day , and it was very hard on Joan. She was very tired. Even if they were grumpy because they didn't get enough sleep, Ben and Joan were enjoying the magic of their love.

*********Joan and Ben were awakened by the soft crying of their baby who was hungry. It was breakfast time for the baby, only after that could Ben and Joan enjoy their coffee and pancakes Hop Sing had prepared for them. Joan was in a mischievous mood as she said, "Did you take my hand during the night ?"

Ben smiled with delight and said, "I was awake and you looked so lovely while you were sleeping."

Joan looked at Ben and said "This is quite a funny honeymoon, isn't it?"

Ben looked at Joan lovingly as he said, "I have the beautiful moonlight above me and now I have you with your creamy white skin next to me. Your skin is so soft and you are so beautiful my darling."

Joan started to cry, tears of happiness, tears of joy and pleasure at hearing such words spoken by the man she loved she loves and who loved her. Ben's words were sort of healing for her sore heart. Long-buried feelings were coming alive again, long-forgotten feelings, as she was being held in Ben's strong arms. With the death of her husband a part of her had died too and with Ben she was feeling alive again. Joan had given birth only a few weeks ago , yet these last  
few months had seemed like a mist to her. The winter had set in and established its landscape with snow and frozen lakes and a small baby had been born. She hadn't been fully aware of what she had been doing, she had just done what she had to. But since she had found Ben again, she felt last she was coming alive again and getting back into the control of her everyday existence. It was so good to feel his strong arms around her because even if she was feeling a lot better, she still had moments of depression, when the brightness of her smile would sudenly be transformed into a clammy darkness, plunging her into the depths of despair and then she had to rest. But the depression was becoming less and less when she thought about the past. The previous months had been filled with silence, moments of sadness and pain, when she had had the impression that she was withering like a wilting flower. She really had touched the depths. After she had been like a tightrope walker who had lost his rope, she was able to say, that now she had survived all the ordeals, she could only be stronger. Everybody had their share of hardships in life and she had to face what the Lord had sent her.

Ben had urged her to marry quickly saying he would raise Henry's child as his own. Joan explained why she had left the tribe, deep down, part of her felt that she wasn't completely fulfilled. That's why she had taken the risk of leaving her tribe alone with her baby. But Ben had welcomed her with his strength, he had dispelled her doubts from her mind, her remorse, her guilt and had decided to trust his heart. And already she felt broken heart was healing, in fact Ben's feelings were so strong, that he was able to come down her mind with his wise words, heal her wounds with his tender kisses and time would would do the rest.

*****

Finally baby Rozene-Cassandra had started sleeping in her own bed and not in her mother's arms or in the parent's bed. When she was sleeping deeply you could see two or three black hairs in her little clenched fists, her mother's hairs that she would grab while she was feeding and which would stay trapped in her little chubby hand until she would let go of them when relaxing in her bath.

In the half-light of the bedroom, Ben leaned over to hug her and kiss her on the nose. He always had been able to protect people, especially women, and this one was in need of affection, after all the bad time she had had to face. But even the sorrow and the pain she had showed courage and determination and Ben was proud of this slip of a woman possessed by such an extraordinary will to live. She was able to convince everybody that life was worth living whatever  
happened.

"Let me hold you in my arms, you can trust me. I'll always love you and I will always be there for you »

Ben put his hands around her and kissed her again. She pressed herself even more tightly against him, she snuggled against his chest. She was so close to his chest that she could hear the beating of his heart. She felt deeply moved and all her body seemed to be tingling with so many differents emotions rising from deep down in her guts. Unable to stop herself, he stretched up on her tiptoes to catch yet another kiss from her tall and handsome husband unable to stop  
herself.

" Another one ? You're as insatiable as your daughter... There's no way of stopping you"

Ben put his hands on her cream colored dress and started to caress her back tenderly, she slowly started to open the first button of his light grey shirt. She had forgotten the extreme pleasure of such moments, the sensations that you could feel deep down in the hollow of your stomach, when you let your hands explore the body of the man you love. She undid the last button and slowly opened Ben's shirt and slowly let her fingers run around on his broad hairy chest. She explored every corner of his chest. She was trembling a little overwhelmed by the first waves of pleasure. She couldn't resist his caresses and kisses and only in a few seconds they were carried away by the passion. He was holding her by her waist and was pulling her closer and closer to him, she kissed him for a long time on his naked body, a never-ending kiss. When she got to his waist she stopped and looked up at him. She noticed that his eyes were closed ready to savour every seconds of that moment. His grey shirt was open revealing his broad chest, she just wanted to let her fingers wander over these solid shoulders , to feel the muscles of her beloved one contract at the touch of her caresses. Ben kissed tenderly she who had become his wife, their tongues mingled playfully, sometimes flying, sometimes searching. It was if their lips were welded together. Then he placed tender kisses on the chin of his sweetheart. His kisses became more passionate as he went lower down her throat, his tonguer wandered eagerly on that skin that he had missed so much. He gently nibbled her tender throat with his tongue or gentle kisses. Joan proffered her throat throwing back her head. Her long dark hair fell down onto the bed. Her flesh prickled with desir. She slid her fingers under the shirt of her loved one gently caressing his skin and his pectoral muscles. She pulled aside the material covering his body and began to cover it with kisses playing with her tongue, gently titillating the sharpness of his teeths. Her hands wandered caressing his firm body.

*****  
Joan woke up the next day feeling more alive than ever. Rozene'-Cassandra was crying : she was hungry.

"Our little young lady would like some milk," Ben said, taking the baby in his arms and placed her on the bed by her mother.

"I love the way you carry her in your arms, Benjamin. Whenever we are in your arms, nothing can happen to us. I know she feels that way too."

While she was holding her baby close, she whispered, "You will eat right now, sweetheart."

CHAPTER FIVE  
*********Virginia City...Spring Ball April, 1858

"Hey, Hoss, you've just come at the right time. I have something important to tell you"

Little Joe quickly got up from his chair and went towards his brother who was carrying two glasses of punch.

"Wait two seconds, Joe, cuz I'm just taking this punch to a lovely girl. I'll come back quickly cuz I want to introduce you to her.  
Joe turned around...

Hoss came back later with a glass of punch in one hand and a pretty girl on his arm. At the moment when he started to speak, he was interrupted by the young lady's voice.

"Leslie Amelia Countmaker, what are you doing here?"

"Hi, Angela."

"Don't « Hi Angela » me! I asked you a question" Leslie, the party's over, little girl."

Angela pulled Leslie by the arm across the room.

"I would have at least liked to try to dance," Leslie mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing."

"What the hell are you doing here? You have no right to be here. YYour'e not old enough to come to the dance,young lady. Have you any idea of the sticky situation you're in?"

"I'm not a little girl anymore. I've..."

"Don't use that tone with me, Leslie."

Little Joe looked over at his brother with a frown on his face.

"you see older brother, that's just my luck the cutest girl I have met at this dance turns out to be the youger sister of your dancing partner. It's so unfair!."

" Yeah and it seems to me that your girlfriend wasn't even supposed to be there," Hoss said, as he glanced over at Amelia.

"You know what, Hoss, your partner is an Adam Cartwright in a petticoat."

"Don't say that she's just being responsible for her sister, that's all.."

"Oh, yeah, that's how you call it! I call it being bossy! Girl or boy, elders have a habit of making their youger siblings' lives miserable."

"Well, maybe that's because the younger ones have a tendancy to get into unbelievably difficult situations. You know that Leslie came to this dance without her sister or mother knowing."

"Yes, and I think that's great and quite daring on her behalf. She seems to me to be an amazing girl, just right for me.."

"Now listen, little brother, I've to stop you there. You're only sixteen, and this little gal is barely fourteen. You need to wait a bit, and knowing you, you'll forget her soon."

Joe became angry, very excited he shook his fist at Hoss.

"Take that back now!"  
Joe was furious, clenched his fists ready to make his brother swallow his offensive words.

"Hey, calm down,Joe.," said Hoss. Hoss grabbed his hat and elbowed his way through the crowd to the door to reach the girls.

The young girl turned around, as she did, Leslie tried to escape, but the grip on her arm was solid.

"Don't even think about it, young lady. We're going home now."

Hoss stopped.

"Can I walk you home?"

"Of course, Mr. Cartwright."

"Oh drop the Mr. Cartwright and call me Hoss."

Hoss then turned to his brother.

"Joe, you go straight home."

"But, Hoss, I wish , I..."

"Joe, if you know what's good for you, I suggest you get home right now and no dirty tricks ... you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Hoss grabbed Chubb's halter and tied his reins to the rear of the buggy. Then he helped Leslie and Angela into the buggy and shook the reins for the horses to go. Eventually they pulled up in front of the Countmaker's ranch.

"It was a very nice evening,Angela. I'm sorry we weren't able to dance more."

"Oh, don't be sorry. It was this young lady's fault and she'll be very sorry for herself when I've got done with her! »

Hoss touched the brim of his head and smiled. Joe's words came back to him. Yes, Angela certainly was like Adam, but he was very fond of her and she was lovely. He was very glad that he wouldn't have to wait a long time for her because he was 22 and Angela 20 so Pa wouldn't hestitate to let him marry.

CHAPTER SIX  
*****Back at the Ponderosa, Ben and Joan were drinking coffee , baby Rozene' was sleeping soundly after having been fed. Ben turned his head towards the door, he had just heard the sound of a horse gallopping outside.

"Oh, the boys are back early. I hope everything is alright."

Joan put her hand on her husband's forearm and said, "Be patient, Ben, you'll soon know.

But Ben had already stood up, had put his coffee cup down and was rushing outside.

" everything alright, boys?"

"Yes, Pa, everything's fine, no problem..why?

"Well, you've come back a lot earlier than usual. It's barely 9 o'clock!"

"Let's just say our dancing partners had a little problem."

"Problem ? What do you mean?"

"Well..."

"Eric!"

"I had nothing to do with it, pa, and neither did Little Joe."

"Well, when you start standing up for your little brother, it's a bad sign. Quickly go and take care of your horses and we'll talk about this later inside. »

******

Joe and Hoss were sitting on the settee, Ben was leaning against the fireplace, staring at his two sons. Joan came back downstairs after going to have a quick look at her daughter to check that she was all right.

"Not to worry, she's fast asleep, so I'll get some rest too. Good night boys."

Hoss and Joes answered at the same time.

"Goodnight, Joan », the two boys replied together.

Ben turned to look at his sons...  
All right now, who can tell me what's happened?

Well, Pa, it's a bit complicated...

"I know, Hoss, with you it is always complicated. But I think I'll manage to follow what you have to say. So get on with it."

"Well, everything was going well at the ball and I danced with a young lady called Angela Countmaker. Her family have just moved here. Joe came over to introduce me to his new friend and she just happened to be the younger sister of Angela. Angela didn't know that her sister was at the dance..."

"Oh,I see, and just how old is her younger sister?"

"Maybe, 13 or 14 years old, something like that."

"So she was at the dance on the sly then? And what happened next ? "

-Well, Angela was very annoyed and upset that her sister was there. So I offered to take them both back homeand I told Joe to go straight home which is what he hurried to...

to not do apparently, since you both got back here together! It seems to me yo owe us an explanation, Joseph. Just were did you go ? What have you got to say for yourself?

"I'm sorry, Pa. I had something else to do."

"All right...I've heard enough! Go to your room!"

"Yes sir."

Joe headed up the stairs with a sad expression on his face

"You should get to bed also, son." Ben said to Hoss.

"I sure hope I didn't make matters worse, pa."

"No, son. Off you go to bed.

"Goodnight, pa."

"Goodnight, son."

**********

Ben knockedon Joe's bedroom door. As he went in, Joe didn't stand up, like usual. Ben saw his son sitting on his bed, his head between his hands. Ben decided to show more understanding than sternness and sat down close to his son, putting his right hand on his shoulder.

"What is wrong, son? Have you done something that you are not proud of? I can tell by looking at your face you are upset about something. Is there anything you want to tell me ? "

Joe nodded his head.  
Pa, I didn't think she'd do it. We talked about the party and said it would be a lot of fun.I told her . I would really like to see her there but it was just for a joke!"

"Did you know that she wouldn't have permission to come to the dance?"

"Not really, I just said it would be great if she could is new at school, and she's nice and she doesn't have many friends yet and...

"Yes, and you both seem to have a knack of getting into trouble." Ben said with an ironic smile.

Joe looked surprised.

"You are not mad at me, pa?"

"No, the only thing I am angry about is that you didn't come straight homewhen Hoss told you to. I have a pretty good idea where you went. You went to see this girl's parents with the intention of speaking to intention to speak to them?"

"Yes, you're right"

"Well, even though you told her that it would be fun at the dance and that you would be there, it was her decision to go against her parents' wishes . She is the one who has to face up the consequences of her actions.

"You know, pa, sometimes I envy Hoss and Adam being a few years older. Adam has Francessca, and you are married to Joan now. I even think that Hoss may marry Angela someday. I really like this girl and think that she might be the one I could marry someday."

"Well,that's pretty quick... Alright, when you're old enough to marry. You'll just have to be patient! That day will come quick enough, son.

"Already that'll be complicated because she won't be able to go out for a month."

-Well, for now, you can just talk to her at school.

"This will all work out, Joe. Now it is time for you to go to sleep."

"Thanks, pa."

"Thanks for what?"

"For not punishing me, and for understanding , how I feel about Leslie."

Ben stood up and ruffled Joe's hair.

"It seems strange to think that one day you'll get married and leave the ranch. I'll need a little time to get use to the idea."

"But you will still have Rozene here."

"Of course, that makes me very happy, but still, you can't replace one child by another. It's already been hard with Adam gone. I know he's very happy, but the household is not the same without him... luckily he is not very far away.

CHAPTER SEVEN

****on the morning.

-my lovely little princess.

Joan was holding against her breast. She could feel her soft skin against her and she really was enjoying the moment when Ben arrived. He put his hand on the baby : .

- I'd forgotten, that a baby could be so small..

-Ben, she's not so small...


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER SEVEN

****on the morning.

-my lovely little princess.

Joan was holding the baby against her breast. She could feel her soft skin against her and she really was enjoying the moment when Ben arrived. He put his hand on the baby :

- I'd forgotten, that a baby could be so small..

-Ben, she's not so small...

-My boys are men now, so I had forgotten. Children are a gift from God and we just stand in wonder in front of them, humble. You know, dear Joanie, I am aware that I 'm no longer the age to be a father, Adam is soon having his first child. But all the love I have for you will give me force and energy to bring up this child, as though it were of my own blood. So I'm doing it for your husband, for you and for Rozenée. And it is a splendid gift, life gave me a gift and I accept it.

Ben kissed his wife, he was renewing the oath which he had made before God and men, agreeing to accept her and to accept her child. This child had been born from the love of Joan and Henry but he would be the father she no longer had: he would guide her on her way of life, he would give her confidence and tenderness, everything she could need to grow into a nice young lady. Ben took the child in his arms and held her against him for a long time...

-I don't know how long the Lord will let me live, I hope , it will be for a long time to lead this child towards the adulthood. I'm the happiest man, I'm overjoyed, I have three sons, I'm proud of them, I'll soon have grandchildren, and now you're here, you've brought sunshine into my life and you've brought me this lovely little girl... I just want to thank God for all this happiness.

-Ben, you are the most extraordinary man. I know now that I had to leave the tribe. It was written that we had to meet.

-Even if it was amazing for me to receive a woman as a gift, I have to admit that this gift was the best surprise I have ever had in my life...

-Even if I was for you in a way a poisoned gift?

Ben gave a little smile.

- Not poisoned, my dear, no, in no way. Disconcerting, but not poisoned... You are the most wonderful thing I've had in my life, since... since ? I don't know... I haven't been so happy for such a long time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me. »  
A few tears appeared in Ben's eyes.

- Rozenee, I hope you'll only have happy moments, in your life. I love you so much both of you.

And Ben kissed his wife and his daughter.

******the day after  
"Some good news, Benjamin? "Joan asked as she saw her husband reading a letter.

"Yes, a letter from Corvett. He will spend the summer with us, after finishing his exams." Ben explained.

"Exams? What he is studying ? "she asked and kept on slowly stirring her cup of coffee with her spoon.

"He is in at an art school in Philadelphia. We suggested it to him and he's really doing what he wants to do and he's fully enjoying it. "

"I assume that Adam did insist a lot so that he went to this art college."

"Yes, "answered Ben sighing deeply, "he managed to persuade him. I know that the first weeks were difficult, but he stuck it out... He is now in a city where nobody will remind him that his father was hung."

-  
Joan stopped abruptly turning her spoon in her cup, Ben realised he had upset her. He came close to her, put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh I'm sorry, Joan. I'm so clumsy, it was thoughtless of me."

Joan smiled at him:

"I'll be fine, Ben... You know, even if it's painful, I don't blame Corvett for what his father did. A young boy can't be held responsible for an adult's crimes. "

"Corvet is a good boy, full of courage..."

Joan put down her cup slowly and looked at Ben :

"He wasn't born a Cartwright, but I'm quite certain, that any person who comes into contact with you, even for a short time can't help being influenced by the Cartwright's values. Being a Cartwright means : a lot of affection, tenderness, honesty, bravery, courage. You and your sons know how to help people and maybe you don't realise how much you manage to make people change.  
Ben smiled and tenderly kissed on her cheek. Then he took her hand and they walked over together to his study.

"Look at these drawings Corvett sent us, that he did at school. "  
Ben opened the drawer of his table and took out a long box. In it there were some rolls of paper : some drawings Corvet had done a few months ago.

"Oh Ben. These drawings are fantastic, they're so moving. I didn't expect anything like that. Poor boy, there is so much pain and sadness behind his drawings. I've never seen anything so touching."  
She couldn't help staring at the woman's face on the paper. Corvett had drawn a young woman's face, there was such a sad expression in her eyes. Her long wavy hair, falling all around her face seemed to emphasize her despair.  
"This young man has a lot of talent, his soul has been touched by the grace of God. He has a brillant future, for sure ; and he deserves it, after all he has had to face. »

-Yeah, I think so...

*****at breakfast  
Joan, as usual, was facing Ben at the table. She was spreading butter on some toast. Before eating it she looked at her husband and asked him :  
"Benjamin, would you like to drive me to town ? We need flour, coffee and tobacco. And I want to buy some material. I'll ask Mrs Clambway to show me how to sew nappies. She has already done quite a few for me but it's time for me to learn how to make them myself."

Ben put the cup down on the table, took the napkin, wiped his lips before answering :

"yes, I have to talk to Hank, but after that, you can count on me. "

"I'll be ready for you, », she said as he was going over to the door . He kissed her lightly and she said :  
"see you later, Benjamin".  
He answered with a smile and went out from the room picking up his hat as he went.

A few hours later, in town.

Benjamin and Joan were on the main street, they had just come out of the bank when they suddenly heard somebody shouting.

" I can't believe, you're so stupid, I can't even count on you. »  
Ben and Joan turned around when they heard the sound of somebody being slapped. The woman behind them seem to be very angry.

"your baby brother could have choked to death. He could have died."  
The little girl petrified by her mother's anger just managed to whisper « I'm sorry ».  
Joan passed Rozenée to Ben and went over to the woman and the little boy. She put her hand on the little boy's cheek and asked him how he was. The woman a little taken aback, explained coldly that her daughter had let the baby play with her bag, he had taken a button and he had nearly swallowed it.  
"she was supposed to be looking after him ." she concluded giving her daughter an angry look.

Joan offered to help but the woman politely refused. She had calmed down and her voice was less harsh.  
"No thanks, Madam. You're very kind but it will be alright. We'll see each other again on Sunday. My name is Emily, Emily Stannwood ». ,  
Her voice was gentler and her eyes less angry. Joan replied with a smile and went away. But before she put her hand on the little girl's head.  
« You know, babies need a lot of attention , they need to be watched all the time. Danger is all around them. Promise me you'll be more careful in the future. "  
-Yes m'am, she said shyly.

Joan smiled at the little girl and went back to her husband and daughter.

****a few minutes later

"What's the matter, my darling, you seem really quiet."

Joan briefly explained that she had been moved by what just had happened. She thought the woman had overreacted.

"I felt ill-at-ease, the little girl did'nt do it on purpose.

Ben replied that the mother was just angry.

"yes alright, but I thought she was too strict with her daughter. The slap was uncalled for. Her daughter looked really cute, I'm sure, she does her share of housework. "

"it happens a lot, sweetheart... Life is hard here. That woman is married to Caleb, a rancher who works on land south of Carson City. His ranch is doing well but he and his family haven't got a minute to themselves. Moreover they have had sleepless nights because of a cow about to give birth to a calf. What's more he can't count on his eldest son, he has broken his leg falling from a horse. So Caleb is obviously asking for a lot of help from his boys and daughters. "

"How many children has he got ?"

Ben readjusted his hat and rubbed his forehead.

"Well, I suppose, he has got 6 or 8, maybe 9 with the little one we saw in the shop. So there are days when..." He didn't finish his sentence, he put his arm around his wife and pulled her towards the buggy. She nevertheless added, « it's really sad »

Ben didn't answer. He gave her an amused look, she understood from this look what he was about to say :  
« I know, what you think, Benjamin Cartwright, we'll talk about it in a few years, is that it ? "

Ben nodded knowingly :

"oh yes, my dear, I don't want to frighten you, but you'll have such hard moments. Rozene won't always be cute and obedient. She'll be stubborn and she'll want to do things her way, she will stamp her foot and say NO just to test her parents' authority."

She cut him short by putting her fingers on Ben's lips.

"ssh, please, don't say anymore. I believe you, I'm sure you know what you're talking about. Let me think that it might be different."

He wasn't ready to stop, he was enjoying the conversation.

"Different in what way ? If I remember well, it seems to me that you have got quite a strong character, haven't you ? "

Pretending to be annoyed, she stared at him with her dark grey eyes :

"yes but that's not got anything to do with it. When I arrived here , you tried to make me conform, to be the person you wanted me to be. Everything seems obvious to you but I needed to learn everything, everything that children usually learn automatically. So whenever I felt aggressed I defended myself. "

He kissed her on her temple.

"It's true, when I think about it now. Maybe I made some mistakes and you were quite right to protest, to say it was unfair. The situation was completely beyond me. A human being had been given to me, and I wasn't at all prepared for that. I didn't know what to do, how to behave."

"never mind, all that's in the past. You did a good job with me otherwise Henry wouldn't have married me. You cared for me as the Chief wanted to get rid of me. He could have killed me, you saved me and helped me regain my freedom. In fact you helped me become a woman again. "

After these words Ben took the baby in his arms. He stared at the little girl, she stared back with her big round eyes and he kissed her on her cheek. Rozénée nibbled her sleeve, rubbed her eyes and gave a big yawn. Joan laid her down in a basket near her. Ben gently stroked the baby's cheek :

"Little sweetheart, we've got plenty of time to bother about the future. Look what your daddy's got for you, a dolly. Take it, honey"

Ben saw how the tiny chubby hand reached out for the dolly, trying to grasp the woollen threads. And oops, straight into her mouth, to chew. »

"no, not in your mouth. Just a minute, look, you're eating a thread. It's not good, it's not to eat. Let me get it out of your mouth. »

Ben gently pulled the thread out of her mouth,

" hold on, now, your hat's falling over your eyes. Let daddy fix it."

Ben gently pushed back the white satin hat which was threatening to hide the pretty eyes of his daughter. Joan had been watching everything, smiling to herself.

"Talking about limits, as far as I can see, you're the one who's going to be twisted around somebody's little finger, in fact around your daughter's little finger, aren't you ?"

"what makes you say that ? " he asked, removing a piece of wool from Joan's shawl.

"For no reason. We'll talk about it again in a few years, she said to him with an ironical glance.

They both walked towards the place where Ben had stopped the buggy, near the stables, where he had let the horses to be catered for. Taking in turns to push the cart in which they had put Rozene's basket, they were walking past the stores meeting quite a few people they knew. Ben politely touched his hat everytime he came across a lady . One of them Mrs Joachim Floaster stopped a moment in front of the couple :

"Mrs Cartwright, what a beautiful child. How old is she now ? »

"she'll soon be eight months old ? Joan replied readjusting the blanket.

"already ? It'll soon be time to think about giving her a little brother or sister. There's nothing like having children close together in age ; believe me, it's really good for them. Mr Cartwright will let himself be tempted by an other addition to the family, especially if it's his own blood, if you see what I mean. Oh, excuse me, I have to go, I can see a friend of mine over there. Have a nice day, say hello to the boys for me, will you ?

" Of course, we will, Mrs Floaster, have a nice day, Ma'm."

Joan politely greeted her nodding her head. Ben saw the smile on her face, he bit his lips so as not to laugh. He knew exactly how she was feeling about that woman. His wife was not happy.

After the woman had gone, Joan looked at her husband in annoyance and said to him :  
« I wish, I could have spit on that woman's shadow.

Ben scolded her gently.

« No, you wouldn't do something like that, it's not lady like ».

"You are right, she is not worth it. But all the same, I'll just imagine that I'm doing it, she answered and quickened her pace.

"oh , yes that I can well understand. But thinking about it, I hope you won't teach Rozene how to spit ! "

"of course, I will. I'll teach her to ride bareback, like a man. And chew tobacco like a man. And spit like a man!

"oh oh, I feel for the worst, he answered raising his eyes to the sky.

*****  
-Benjamin

A voice behind them made them turn round. A woman had recognised them, she waved to them, she was extremely elegant; wearing a sumptuous dress of emerald green brocade set off with black lace. Joan, slightly suspicious instinctively huddled up to Ben, holding his arm.  
The refined and exquisite creature continued walking until she came up to them.

"Well, if it isn't my good friend Ben. What a nice surprise, I am so happy to see you here in town, she uttered in a honeyed tone of voice.

"Addah, what a nice surprise."

Ben took the hand she held out to him and brought it to his lips, before giving her a warm embrace.

"Addah, I wasn't expecting to see you. What are you doing here in town?"

"I've come for something quite different from acting. I'm going to read poetry that I've written myself," she explained pulling lightly on her glove.

"It will be delightful, I am sure of it. Addah, my dear, allow me to introduce you to my wife, Joanie and our small daughter Rozené-Cassandra', added Ben with a wide gesture.

"It's my turn to be surprised. I wasn't at all expecting this.

Then turning to Joan, she gently put her hand on Joan's arm.

"I wish you a lot of happiness, Benjamin »

Then she looked at Joan :

« Benjamin has been a friend of mine for a long time and I am happy for you both. Benjamin, you deserve this happiness, this double happiness I should say. What an adorable little sweetie... Dear friend, if I can call you that, look after this extraordinary man. Cherish him, he deserves it. Now, please, if you'll excuse me, I'm expected at the reception of the hotel".

Joan smiled at her and held out her hand to this very elegant woman. As they continued their stroll, Ben asked Addah how long she was thinking of staying in town. The latter answered that that would depend on how her poetry readings went.

"We will be in the audience listening, dear friend, and don't forget to come for dinner one evening at home. Hop Sing will be very angry if you don't come. "retorted Ben, obviously happy.

"Dear old Hop Sing, nothing would please me better, Ben."

"Then, it's settled. Let's say tomorrow evening? Adam and his wife will join us."  
Ben saw her smile, surprised :

"Adam is married?" , she asked.

Ben, in a few words, gave an account of what had happened during the past six months. Addah's reaction made Ben burst out laughing.

"Undoubtedly, like father, like son, on every occasion", she retaliated with a light smile before moving away.

Joan started walking faster, heading for the next store. Ben, realising where she was going, caught up with her.

"Undoubtedly one of your conquests. She seemed to know you so well".

Joan was feeling quite jealous and anxious, she didn't know a lot about her husband's life and what she was discovering, bit by bit, wasn't very reassuring.

"You know, my darling, I won't lir about my past, I have had a few conquests; but you've nothing to fear from Addah. There's nothing between us, we're just really good friends. I'll be frank with you, I thought, at one time there could have been something else between us but she chose another man, somebody in fact who brought her only unhappiness. But I respected her choice."

"Alright, I believe you. "she replied with a soft voice, trying to keep it neutral.

"Oh not, Joanie. It doesn't suit you to be scornful like that. Come on, let's go home. Oh, we've woken up baby talking like that. Come on Sweetie, oh dear, it looks as if you've got a wet bottom, young madam, we'll see to that at home ; come on, let's go back, ladies. "

- Don't move, or I'll shoot .

**** Asibikaashi,  
Adam arrived, shattered but happy after his day... Happy with the amount of work he had got through since daybreak. His work and his account up-to-date. New orders, the country was booming. Ranches were being built by the dozen and the wood from Ponderosa was not only making the Cartwrights rich but was supplying rooves to families. Families to be housed, families whose fathers came to be employed which gave Adam and the other ranchers man power to be managed. Lots came from afar , from far away... Adam knew it it, his country was attractiv for all the people in search a happy life. Wasn't that what the Declaration of Independance promised ?

How many were they to try their luck in this country where gold was said to be abondant and where you just needed to bend down to become rich, immensly rich. Millions, refugees from Europe, who had fled from Ireland, the land of their ancestors; Ireland which did not manage to feed them, after the horrifying famine. « Blasted mildiou » thought Adam to himself... A farmer's life was exhausting, so hard: harvest were so vulnerable: Storms; insects and fires were three main blights which threatened them. Facing so much misery, the Irish then saw in America an ideal solution to escape from the famine. With the mortality rate ever increasing following the famine, several thousands of Irish left their native land, to board a freighter for America. The United States offered them a true dream of a new beginning.

****Tears on the pillow.

"Why are you so distressed , darling?"

No answer, tears, more tears, never-ending sobs.

"sweetheart, what's the matter?"

Adam sat down close by her and took her in his arms. His hand caressed her back, consoling her. A hand which seemed to say «Let me take away your dispair». Adam was in a quandary, torn between concern and embarrassment. Adam was trying to block the flow of tears with his tender kisses.

« It's nothing, I'm just a bit tired".

Adam didn't insist. He stood up, and began moving away. With his fingertips he raised the chin of his young wife and looked at her warmly.

"I only want the best for you, sweetheart."

She murmured a thank you tinted with bitterness.

« It's unbearable for me to see your eyes red from crying »

She aske to stay alone, it was just a passing moment of depression but it would soon be over.

"I'm doing my best, Francesca, to make you happy. I thought I 'd succeeded »

"But I AM happy, Adam Cartwright. I am a bit nonplussed. I used to live with my parents; we went through a lot of hardships. It is normal that I'm still attached to my family; in my memories. And then you know, Adam; I think that you can understand. After all, we ARE living on the lands of YOUR family."

Adam was silent, overcome with emotion , feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Adam; you've got everything here : your father, your brothers, your home. I thought, my father was going to settle here; but in fact he just can't stay in one place. So he's leaving."

"That's true " he replied looking slightly disabused.

"Why is it so complicated? I thought that my happiness would make him stay."

"But everything isn't lost, try speaking to him, try to make him change his mind."  
But Francesca shook her head.

"He doesn't want to live his life here, I know. But I don't understand what he is looking for."

"Does he know it himself ? "Adam asked.

"I just don't know. "she replied, shaking her head once again.

Without really realizing it , Adam had answered quite abruptly... He was beginning to feel exasperated by what he considered to be these typically feminine changing moods and by these fathers who put their own interest first before those of their family. A child was not just like a sack of potatoes that we put away in a wooden shelter until the winter was over. Life was already sufficiently hard in this part, if we couldn't count on each other, then the whole question of our survival would be jeopardized or at least badly compromised. Adam started thinking about Jamie; who's his father had blamed him for the death of his mother; he was thinking about Corvet whose father by choosing the way of crime had ended up hung under the very eyes of his son... And then he was thinking about Samantha, rejected by her father and her grandfather. Margarita's memory appeared in his mind, a hell of a slip of a girl. But with such a father, Adam was wondering, if this man could decently be called a father. A man who had denied all his fatherly duties. A man who hadn't been capable of instilling any values into his daughter. SO many children without any baearings, without any support, without anybody to lean on. At least they all had the opportunity to spend time on the Ponderosa.

*****  
Ben glanced at the man who had dared to threaten him. There were three men, coming out of the bank, their faces were partially hiden by dark-colored scarves. Ordinary-looking characters. The one who had spoken had stopped on the top of the steps pointing a weapon at the onlookers and passers-by who were standing petrified, incredulously at the scene which was taking place before their eyes. It was like a bad dream. The second guy came forwards holding bags of banknotes in his arms. He was not armed, but knew he was protected by his acomplice in front of him and the other who was following him closely behind.  
Ben hadn't moved, he was still holding his daughter tightly against him... Was she aware of what was happening ? She was silent too. She had even stopped the babyish prattle to which her parents were normaly exposed continuously.  
With a stony expression and jaws tightly clenched Ben barely dared to look at his wife. Slowly, very slowly, he lowered his right hand down his leg, put his fingers on the holster of his gun. His left arm tightly encircled the baby's body.  
- Bang  
A gunshot rang out and just missed Ben. He shot back. Joan fell on the ground. Ben moved away , hurried to shelter behind a house and shot again. Once. Twice. He hit his target. He had just touched one of the guys, dazzled by a ray of sun reflecting on his silver-plated colt gun. Holding his breath, he kept his fingers on the trigger of his gun, ready to fire. He raised his hand and pulled again; one shot, two shots and he hit the two other guys. He had been the quickest. Years hadn't harmed his reflexes nor his self-control nor his sharp eyesight . He was defending his town, but more than anything, he was defending his family...  
With a loving gesture, he continued to hold his small daughter against , she stayed motionless in her daddy's arms. Ben didn't hear the shouting of the onlookers who were congratulating him, coming towards him to praise him. He was leaning over the form lying full length on the ground. With Baby wedged carefully on his left shoulder, he was giving all his attention to Joan whose pale green skirt was spread out like a crown of petals, her white blouse tight against her milk-filled breasts , several strands of hair had strayed across her slim and slender face. Her upturned skirt revealed a pair of black mid-calf bootees and a pair of legs sheathed in dark silk.  
The scene was of a bloody hold-up: there was agitation, people were running in all directions, not realising the shooting had ended. The danger was still there, the danger of a sudden retaliation, of a stray bullet. Nobody wanted to die in the middle of the street, like this woman who was lying at the feet of the man holding a baby in his arms. A bag of banknotes was scattered on the ground.  
Ben, his eyes flooded with tears, looked at the sky and started to pray : Oh Lord, please, don't let her die, ; no, please, no more tragedy. Don't let the same thing happen again. I've already being through this. Have pity on us. Have pity on this little girl. Let there be an en to it. No more babies without mothers, please Lord... Not today, not ever , not in these circumstances.

"Shh sweetie, everything will be alright."

Somebody came forwards, had a quick look and shouted fiercely at the top of his voice :

"Oh my God, this is horrible. The baby has been wounded too. There's some blood on her bonnet. Call the doctor, quickly".

Roy wasn't in town. No sheriff, no deputy. It was as if the bad guys had known the town would be unprotected. They had taken advantage of the situation.

"Ben, let me have a look..."

Slowly, very slowly, Ben turned his head. He had heard the voice of a man. Paul Martin has just arrived.

" Where is this blood coming from ? Who has been wounded ?"

Ben shook his head, he overwhelmed with despair as he gazed at the scene spread out before him . A living nightmare, a scenario which was repeating itself. A stray bullet buried within the body of a loved one. A life cut down in its prime by death, a smotthered cry, a slow relentless fall.

"Ben look at me..."

-

-BEN."

Suddenly, as if hit by a violent flash of lightning, Ben straightened up. He handed the baby over to Paul and stood up... Looking vaguely in front of him he dashed forward and continued straight ahead, elbowing the onlookers out of his way and continuing in his chosen direction. He was walking with a determined pace, his boots sinking in the dusty street in Virginia City. Where was he going ? What was he wanting to do ? Twenty steps, thirty steps barely separated him from the porch of the bank. At the foot of the steps, three bodies were lying on the ground and banknotes were flying about in the wind. Notes that nobody dared to pick up. Notes of shame, notes stained red by the blood of a woman. Ben suddenly realised that two of the gangsters were still alive, only one was dead. Ben needed to take his revenge ; he wanted to make them pay dearly for what they have done. Before anybody at all could react, he raised his arm and in a furious gesture, flung his fist violently into the face of the guy. Ben punched him again and again, as hard as he could, he wanted to punch him into the ground. The guy, weakened by the wound in his thigh wasn't unable to react. Suddenly the punching stopped. What was happening ? Why had he stopped ? Ben felt someone holding him back, holding him back around his chest. Someone was trying to pull him backwards.

"let me go, get your hands of me, he has to pay for what he has done.

Ben was struggling madly like a wild puma to get free. It was if he was a powerful beast , his rage and his pain multiplying his determination and belligerence.

****** Several hours later.

"No, not that way, you're not doing it right"

Rozenée had been sat in a wooden chair, near the table. Ben and Hoss had disagreed about the way to feed her. Ben had tried to put her on his knees to feed her, but the baby had waved her arms about so much that he had been covered in potatoes.

"Let me do it pa... We'll sit her in her chair and you'll see, she'll eat without moving. You get worked up and then she doesn't want to eat anymore. "  
Hoss sat down again on a chair whilst Ben got up again.

"No, I'm not getting worked up.."

"Yes, you are, pa. Sorry to say so. But we can't say anything to you ; so let me get on with it. Go and see Hop Sing, run a bath and enjoy some time to yourself", replied Adam who was in his chair.

Ben ran his fingers through his hair then put his hands in his pockets and with a gesture of resignation said :

« Well, as far as I can see, you've decided for me. "

"That's right; off you go, pa;... we'll take care of the baby..."

Then turning towards the little girl, he added fondling her head:

" Sorry, you have to stay with Uncle Hoss and uncle Adam and eat up this delicious dish of gruel..."

Hoss put a spoonful in the mouth of the baby... The baby loved it. Ben smiled briefly and went upstairs.

**** Afterwards.  
Hoss had been there for this father when he had needed him. He had taken time to listen to him. He had put the baby to bed. When he had come back he had seen his father leaning on the table with his head in his hands on the verge of collapse, sad and crying, in despair. Hoss had put his hands on his father's shoulders to try to comfort him. Ben had hoisted himself up with difficulty, he had dried his eyes, placing his two hands together on the table he had started to pray : a long prayer, full with humility, he was sobbing, looking up towards heaven. His eyes were swollen from already having cried to much, his tears having diluted the sorrows of the past.

**************** someone knocking on the door.  
- come in.

No sound of moving.  
Hoss, after this touching moment with his father went towards the porch and drew back the heavy bolt. A man was standing in front of the entrance. A mixture of rage and softness, savageness and good upbringing. His face was hard, like those men with nothing to lose, and yet his eyes expressed an outdated romanticism; veiled by the wheels of time and bad experiences. Hard to imagine such a paradox: a look filled with noble feelings, a physical appearance, blending gracefulness and imposing bearing and an independent, proud, stubborn character, an embittered , disabused temperament, a man who had more than his share of shady goings-ons and disappointments. A lover of life, and a lover of women, used to play with so many hearts and banknotes.  
Leaning against the beam supporting the eaves of the ranch, he was there, smoking carelessly, drawing slowly on his cigarette, inhaling the smoke, scraping the ground with the tip of his boot.

"Hi Cousin."

"Will, good heavens , what are you doing here? "

"Can I come in?"

He asked in a straightforwards way crushing his chewed cigarette under his boot.

"well, in fact, it's not the best of times. It's just that my father isn't feeling very well at the moment."

"Oh, is he ill ? Has he hurt himself?"

Hoss shook his head, slowly. He decided to speak, not really knowing where to begin.

"Nothing serious. A scrape on his arm... But it's ... Well, Pa got married again not long ago and his wife is between life and death since yesterday. There was a hold-up in town and she received a bullet. The doctor could remove it but he didn't seem very optimistic."

"That's terrible. Sorry, I don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting it. Last time we met, your father told me I could look on this place as my own. So you understand, now I feel as though I'm disturbing you all. "

Hoss, faithful to himself, let his cousin in, pushing him towards the door.

"Don't be stupid, come on in. Feel at home, there's plenty of room for you here. I'm sure that Pa will be delighted to see you. And you'll be able to meet Rozenée, you'll see, she's lovely."

"Who is she ? Your fiancée? You old rascal".

"No... She's almost my stepsister. When pa married Joan, she was already pregnant by her first husband. A good man who had been killed in town in sordid circumstances. After the wedding, he legally adopted the little girl and decided to raise her as if she was her own. »

Will was gobsmacked, imagining the scene.

"so you're busy nappy changing. »

"eh... Yes".

"Hi Adam, how are you ? "he asked going through door.

"I'm fine, I've settled not far from here with my wife. And Joe is pulling out his hair because he can't get married quick enough."

"oh you're completely mad, arent' you ? . What an idea. You need to make the most of life. Joe'll have time enough to pass the rope around his neck. And what about you, Hoss ?"

"Well I'm engaged to a lovely girl. We intent to get married before the end of year »

"I can't believe what I'm hearing. You've all gone completely out of your minds in this family", Will retorted runing his fingers through his hairs.

"Why don't you tell what's been happening to you ? I have a feeling that you're not here just on a courtesy visit. Am I wrong ?, asked Adam;

"I can't hide anything from you, Cousin, » answered Will leaning with his hand against the wall.

"So come on, don't wait to be asked. Tell all. Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Would you like some coffee ?"

"Yes please, with a drop of rum" he replied going towards the armchair. Hoss had already poured him a coffee and commented :

"Oh yeah, you need something strong to fortify you. SO I was right, you've got problems, haven't you ?, Adam replied.

"I'm runing away, cousin, hunted like a wild cat.

-Hunted ? Why ? What have you done", Hoss asked.

Ill-at- ease, Will took hold of the cup of coffee that his cousin was passing over to him.

"Well, I've got a few problems. I owe some money to a band of fellows not really willing to give me a loan. I had a bad hand in a poker game, and that's about it, end of the story. They want their money back and I'm trying to disapear.

"Just a minute ; how much do you owe them ?"

- I'm not quite sure.

-500 dollars ?

-More

-1000 ?

-A bit more.." Will replied raising his hand. Hoss was beginning to feel annoyed.

"We'll stop the guessing game, right there. Tell me the exact amount you lost.

-12,000 dollars.

-WHAT ? How much ? "

The mouthful of coffee that Hoss had just swallowed went down the wrong way as he heard the amount of the debt.

"You call that a small amount of money ? How did you manage to loose so much ? That wasn't just in one evening, was it ?, asked Adam.

- No, but I tried to win some back.

-Well, it didn't work, did it ? ." Hoss commented with a certain irony.

"Don't be cynical, cousin, it doesn't suit you. Everybody can make a mistake, can't they ? "

-12.000 dollars; that's a very expensive mistake, don't you think." , Adam replied.

****  
-Hoss, Adam, can you come a minute ?

Ben's voice sounded authoritative. Hoss put down his cup of coffee and made towards the stairs. Will didn't really know what to do. He looked inquisitively at Hoss and pourred himself another coffee when he saw the expression on his cousin's face.

"Don't move, Will, We'll be back. "

In the warmth of the house, Will started to relax. His uncle's house was a real haven of peace ; a special place far away from the craziness of people, a place where life was so simple. By the will of the patriarch , by the force of his values and principles he protected the tranquility of all those who lived under his roof. Even a wild being like Will was capable of appreciating a moment of respite. Resting for a short time in one of the bedrooms on the Ponderosa Ranch enjoying something other than sleeping under the stars on ground far too hard. He knew it, on the Ponderosa he would have a good night' sleep and be able to recuperate. Ruthless nightmares he wouldn't have any there. The whole place inspired a feeling of security : the thick walls, the imposing fireplace, an infinitely high ceilingun, a powerful vault.

Ponderosa was the proud achieve ment of a father with ambition and a son with the knowledge to build. Ponderosa had been built by two stubborn men with a passionnate and patient nature, Ponderosa was the shelter from a life which had been hard for both of them. That was funny : he had quite the same story as his uncle and his cousin, all three were adventurous but the comparison stopped there. It was true that they had the same blood but how people could be so different. First, his uncle who had been a sailor before being a rancher, then his cousin who was an architect with his head as full of ideas as a ripe pumkin ready to be picked in his father's garden, and finally him who was more rebellious, more cunning, smarter than anybody else but who had chosen the wrong way of life.

****In the bedroom

"Is she awake, pa ? » Adam asked.

"No. But her fever is increasing. The doctor said it could happen.

"Oh no pa, do you want me to fetch him ?

"Oh yes son, please do.» Ben replied putting his hand on his son's shoulder. Hoss ran down the stairs, grabbed his jacket, his hat and his gunbelt. He quickly explained to his cousin where he was going. He told him that Joe would soon arrive.

Adam decided he would leave, his father needed to be alone.

A face red with fever.

"Be strong, sweetheart. You can't leave me."

Ben had sat on the bed, he had pressed his hands and he was praying, tears in his eyes. He didn't try to stop the tears falling down on his hands. In his hands he was holding the pale hand of the one who was fighting against death. Ben was there, he was trying to give her some of his strength as much as possible.

"Joanie sweetheart, you must be stronger than the fever."

Someone knocked at the door, it forced him to put his sorrow to one side for a moment.

"But ….. who are you ? What are you doing here ? .

- Uncle Ben, it's me, Will ».

Ben stood up, dried his eyes with his hand.

"Will, but... "

-Sorry, but I've been downstairs for a few minutes. I was with Adam and Hoss. They told me about your wife. I'm so very sorry.

-Thanks, I wish you could have met her under other circumstances. Ben replied shaking Will's hand.

-How did it happen ?

Ben told him about the hold-up in town.

"There were three, I shot one and the two other were wounded," he explained with his voice breaking with emotion.

"The doctor removed the bullet which was in her thigh. He said we had to wait and pray . We couldn't do anything else.

-Let me have a look.

Paul Martin asked Hoss and Will to leave, before removing the white sheet covering the young unconscious woman. Then he turned towards Ben and asked him to come close to the bed.

«May I ask you to lower her panties so that I can have a look at the wound. »

Ben, surprised, came close and did what he had been told to do. The doctor noticed the puzzled face and said with humour :

«I'm serious Ben. I don't want you to punch me. I have to put my hand on her thigh. I'm the doctor, you're the husband. »

Then as he saw Ben's quizzical face, Doc Martin gave him a slap on the shoulder.

« Hey relax, you're so tense. Your wife is alright ; Ben. The wound

is healing nicely. »

Ben didn't seem to share doc's optimism. He still questioned :

«But she still has a high temperature ! I touched her forehead, she was burning with fever. »

« It's just a reaction after a shock. She will wake up in a few hours. Stay

with her. But now I want you to eat something. »

-Alright doc. You're the expert. Come down and have a coffee.

-Oh thanks, Ben. I won't say no. »

«Hey, I'm sorry for my behavior. Sometimes a doctor needs to make a joke. It's a question of surviving. Humour helps me to bear life, wounds, tragedies, emotions. Without any humour we couldn't do our job.

-I understand, or I'm trying to.

-I'll be frank, Ben. I've never said it before to anybody : the more I know my patients personally the harder it is for me. I was very nervous, during the operation I was so afraid of doing something wrong. Your wife's wound was a serious one.

-I thank you doc for what you did for her. I don't know how to express my gratitude. You saved her. I was sure, I would lose her as well, you know about my past, don't you ? »

The look exchanged between them was full of respect. The two men were silent.

-Alright, thanks for the coffee ; I'm going back to town.

-You're welcome ; and thank you so much for everything you've done. I'm sorry, we made you get out of your bed.

-Well, it's not important. I prefer coming for nothing. Your wife is alright, and that's what counts. That's my reward. I'll be able to sleep tomorrow. Please Ben, give a kiss to the baby for me. Is she

alright ?

-Oh yeah, she is. Hoss fed her. He's the only one who managed to feed her.

-She already knows how to charm somebody. Tell Hoss to be careful : or else she'll wrap him around her little finger.

-I'm afraid, it's already happened.

-Alright, more seriously. Tomorrow the young lady will be able to be held by her mom , will be able to get close to her mom. She must have missed her a lot. But you'll have to wait before getting close to her, you

see what I mean. She needs to sleep.

-How doc can you talk that way ? You know me, I know how to contain myself », Ben answered a little bit annoyed but half smiling.

-I trust you, Ben, I trust you. »

And the two men burst out laughing relieving the tension of the painful hours they had just lived. Paul told Ben how he had trembled when he had to cut into the fine milky skin of the young lady. Never before had he so much hesitated with a scalpel in his hand. He had transpired throughout the whole long operation and only once the wound had been cleaned and sown up had he been able to breathe calmly

again.

Sitting on the edge of the bed Ben looked at the woman who had vanquished the obscure demons of the night. He wanted to pull up the sheep over her but decided otherwise. He put his large callous hand on Joan's foot and let his hand move gently up her leg caressing her. His fingers brushed against the white gauze pulled tightly around her white thigh. He hadn't put back on her canvas-colored trousers, trimmed with a fine openwork designed lace. Realising it, he pulled down her nightgown to cover his wife's bare legs a little more. He couldn't stop himself from letting his fingers wander for a moment on the soft

skin of his sleeping beauty. Sliding a hand under her back he lifted her up gently to smoothe out the creases in her clothes for her to be more comfortable. Then turning away from the bed he took a pair of long johns of the shelf out of his wardrobe and came back with them. As they were a lot bigger than his wife's clothes they would cover her without getting in the way of her dressing. One after the other, he slid the feet of his young wife into the opening of each leg and eased them gently up to her waist. He lifted her up again because the long johns had got stuck around her buttocks. He adjusted the top around his wife's stomach but didn't try to tighten the cord. In any case, she wasn't going anywhere and she wasn't even in any state to get up. Just at that moment she started tossing about restlessly in her slee

-Ben... ja... m...

Ben tenderly stroked the brow of his convalescing wife, moving aside a strande of hair lying over her temple.

-Hello my beloved.

He saw her eyes move, slowly batting her eyelids.

-Joanie, sweetheart, can you hear me ?

At long last, he saw her pupils, her pupils colored by the shades of automn gradually settle on him. Oh Joan's eyes undescribable, mysterious, secretive, unfathomable, capable of changing from a delicate, mischievous shade of brown to a deep fiery black.

Joan tried to speak. But her mouth was dry, her tongue furred and her senses awakened and yet nevertheless she was unable to tell her where she was. She was incapable of recognizing anything.

-Joanie, we're at home. You've been wounded in the leg. The doctor has taken the bullet out. No ; don't try to move. Everything's alright.

-Water..

Joan tried to sit up and lean her back against the head of the bed, but the pain was too sharp making her groan. Her face twisted with pain, she pulled herself over onto her side to relieve the pain.

-Wait a minute , I'm gonna give you something to drink.

Ben got hold of the crystal decamter, removed its impressive raindrop-shaped stopper and poured some water into a glass. Putting his arm gently around his wife's shoulder , he raised it to her lips. He tipped up the glass so that the liquid moistened Joan's lips. Then he let her drink a little more.

-That's better, Ben. And Rozéné ?

-Don't worry, she's fine.

-Is she hurt ?

-No, nothing at all. Just a stain of my blood on her bonnet. A bullet grazed my arm. But everything's fine. Hoss gave her a gruel of mushed raw fruits and oat flakes. She ate it all. She didn't want to eat

anything with me.

Joan smiled. In spire of the pain which was shooting through her, a tremendous feeling of joy spread through her body, warming her inside. The reassurance of knowing that her husband and her little girl were alright.

-You were the one to be seriously wounded. But now you have pulled through. Nevertheless you must rest. Here have some more water, I've put a few drops of laudanum in it. It'll make you sleep and tomorrow

you'll feel better. Then he kissed her tenderly on her mouth, touching her moist lips with his tongue as he did so.

-Go back to sleep treasure.

He went out of the room and closed the door. He pushed open the door of the room adjoining their bedroom which was the nursery where Rozenee slept. Against the stone wall heated by the fireplace, Ben had placed the wooden cradle which he had made himself. For the moment Rozene was sleeping ; her two little fists were clenched against her mouth and her face quivered from time to time as she was dreaming.

He went close to her and with the tip of his finger caressed the tiny chubby cheek of his little sleeping damsel.

-Goodnight, sweet Rozene. Sleep well, my little angel, let your dreams soothe you in your sleep.

He found Hoss waiting below with his nephew. Adam had left the ranch to go back to his wife. Hoss had cleared away the cups and the coffee pot from the table. A lot of coffee had been drunk that evening, really a lot. Ben sat in his red armchair in front of the fireplace. For the first time in the past few hours he let out a sigh of relief, a sigh of contentment.

-Joan is doing well. The wound isn't infected. She had drunk a little water and has just gone back to sleep.

-Good, that's really good news. You'll be able to breathe again.

-Yes."

Ben wouldn't let himself say anymore and yet he felt that it would have done him good to express his doubts, his fears, his anger and even his hate. Leaning with his elbows on the armchair, he became engrossed in his own thoughts. With crossed legs, he was looking vaguely at the tip of his boots, his thumb nail against his lips between his teeth. Then slowly a tear fell onto his cheek.

-Do you want to be on your own, pa ?

-What ? Oh no, I'll be alright in a minute. He said, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt.

-Are you sure you're alright ?

Hoss looked at his father siting opposite him then turning towards Will.

-Pa, we need to talk about something. That is if Will agrees. Is that alright Cousin Will.

-Do as you feel best, Hoss.

-And you, how do you feel ?

-Well, I feel...

-You wouldn't be trying to hide something from me, you two ? Joe's away for three or four days but he's going to come back. You don't need to replace him. So stop looking as though you're conspiring

together and tell me what it's all about.

Hoss was careful not to comment on his father's words. And yet he was dying to tell him that he appreciated his sudden new lease of energy.

-First of all, pa, you have to know, I've nothing to do with this story.

-Oh oh, there, you surprise me, son.

-Will arrived while you were with Joan. He 's in big trouble.

-Oh, I see. And by big trouble am I to understand that this included that he has although lost his voice. You have to speak for him.

Will swallowed with difficulty, hearing his uncle's barely-concealed reproach. He couldn't believe how this man could impress him. Uncle Ben not happy that was rarely a good sign.

-Hoss, let me carry on, your pa is right. I have to justify my own behaviour. Thanks cousin, it's kind of you but it's time I learnt to assume my acts.

Will had chosen his words particularly carefuly knowing that his uncle appreciated anything that sounded the least like being sorry.

-I've lost 12,000 dollars playing poker.

There it was done. Will didn't know why it had come out like that. He had been as brief as possible forcing himself to stick to the point. He knew perfectly well that he wouldn't have been able to say it if he

had tried to say it a different way. But seeing Ben's face he started to wish that he had tried saying it a different way.

-This is what they call a confession. Quite the opposite to Joe or even Adam.

The black look that his father gave him made Hoss stop dead in the middle of his sentence. Both of them saw Ben grab hold of the arms of his chair and stand up. His face was livid, he was completely shocked by what he had just heard. Was it the brevety of the statement or the pharaonic amount of the debt ? Ben couldn't say. He stood firmly on the ground, with all his weight. He breathed in deeply, filling his lungs , he held his breath and breathe out slowly. Then with his hands on his hips he went forwards. He went up

to the sofa, he went up to the coffee table and then he went up to his nephew. The latter instinctively stood up and began to walk backwards towards the exit. He had the feeling that an enormous threat was going to overwhelm him. Ben struck out and slapped him so hard on his face that he almost fell over. Such a slap had never been heard before under the Ponderosa roof. Will stood for a moment flabbergastered before feeling his burning cheek. He hadn't seen it coming.

ZIMMMMMMMM.

-Lie down, we're being shot at.

In fact the shooting wasn't anymore than a single shot coming from the door. And then a loud authoritative voice was heard :

-Cartwright, give us our money back and we'll leave you in peace.

-Your friends are there, I believe, added Hoss ironically.

-But I don't have your money.

-Alright, alright, let me handle that.

Ben opened the door covered by Hoss. Will prefered not to show himself.

-My name is Benjamin Cartwright, I'm asking you to put down your gun. So now we're going to talk.

-Yes but we don't want to talk, we just want our money that's all.

-That I have well understood and I can't blame you for that. On the other hand I don't allow anybody to shoot at me and at my family in my house. Low your guns, look, I'm not armed.

-And the big one behind ?

-Hoss, that's enough, put your rifle away. And tell your cousin not to move ; and not to do anything silly.

-Your cousin, it's our guy, he's the one who's got our money.

-I know. Listen to me and listen very well. I don't have the money here but I'm gonna sign an IOU and you'll be able to get the money from the bank as early as tomorrow.

-That seems fine by me, Cartwright. But can you tell me why you're doing it. Seems to me that that fellow over there doesn't deserve it ; the most he deserves is him being put on a beam covered with tar and

feathers.

-Allow me to keep my reasons to myself. You'll get your money back, the rest is none of your business », replied Ben with a cutting tone.

-Oh yeah , did you hear that. Slick, How I'd like to be able to talk like that. He reminds me a bit of my old man.

-Shut it, Guyle. If your old man had talked like that more often, you wouldn't be throwing away your money on poker games.

-Let him speak . It's always a pleasure to hear a compliment, replied Ben with a malicious look. Sometimes I forget what effect I have on people.

-So now you'll have to find a solution to give me my money back. Let me tell you that it'll be a lot more difficult than throwing four aces in a poker game.

-I won't have enough time for that even in my whole life.

-That's not my problem. You should have thought about it before.

-Yes, be that as it may, I was within an inch of having those wretched 12,000 dollars in my pocket.

-That's enough Will, I don't want to hear anymore about money and betting. You're gonna work for me on the ranch until I consider that you've paid me back. Think yourself lucky, I'm gonna give you board and lodging. I'm willing to let you have a room.

-Oh, don't get yourself het up, Uncle Ben, I can sleep in the barn.

-Do you think I'm stupid ?

-I wouldn't dare, Uncle Ben.

-I prefer keeping an eye on you, just in case you might suddenly feel like playing your hand in town. I wouldn't advise you to go. I'm warning you, I've got a good hand, a hard one, if you see what I mean. I'm the ace. I never bluff about what cards I'm going to lay on the table. I could lay down the card « a good thrashing » if you even show the tip of your nose in a saloon.

-You're not serious, are you ?

-You bet I'm. I'm paying very dearly for your stupid blunders so don't even think about me backing up your bad habits regarding poker games. I'll manage to keep you away from your vice of beting, with or  
without your agreement. Do I make myself clear ?

-yes sir.

Thus the matter was settled. The guys who had threatened Will had gone away again with their IOU. Will was working hard on the ranch to pay back his Uncle. Days of sweat and exhausting chores in exchange for the 12,000 dollars that Ben had advanced him.

Joan was now able to stand up. Her leg was healed , completely healed, even if she still wasn't supposed to walk, she could occasionally be seen trotting about in her room, walking from her bed to the window or to her dressing table to comb her hair. Rozenee would spend time in the room with her mom and her wooden animals toys.

Joe had come back from his short stay at the Wilkes ranch. He had been gone for a few days to help Mrs Wilkes chop her wood. Her husband had been hurt and she had nobody to count on. Her son was only seven and wasn't strong enough to chop the wood. Joe was shocked as he heard about the shooting in town and about his step mother and Rozenee being wounded. He was almost feeling guilty for not having been there.

A misty morning on the ponderosa ranch. Ben was deep in his bookkeeping. He was alone at his desk, his pen was running accross the paper ; contracts to draft, accounts to update with his  
employees' pay. He smiled to himself when he thought about the one he wasn't going to pay : 12,000 dollars paid for a rancher, the height of luxury. What a rascal ! Suddenly a noise drew his attention : the easily recognizable sound of a stair creaking. He raised his head and was horrified to see that his wife was standing, about to go down the stairs. He pushed back his chair and rushed towards her. He climbed the stairs and gathered her up into his arms, as if she were some lightweight parcel.

-Well well, where do you think you're going like that, Mrs Cartwright ?

-I've enough of staying in bed.

-You must rest, that's what the doc said.

He was holding her tightly against him, a very slender figure in her nightgown with the white longjohns showing below. Her feet were bare, small and delicatee. She was still pale but her lovely brown eyes  
were gleaming mischievously.

- Well, you can be proud of yourself ; you gave me a real fright. You could have fallen down the stairs. You've got stitches,  
don't forget it. You could have re-opened the wound. You're not being reasonable. »

She gave him her most beautiful , mischievous smile and burried her head against his neck.

-Oh, Oh, I'm perfectly aware of what you're trying to do. But it's still NO. You're not going to coax me into agreeing.

-Won't I ? Are you quite sure ?

Her smile became more beguiling and impish , a sulky expression came over her face.

-Oh for goodness sake, please, don't look at me that way. That's it, I know I won't be able to resist. Alright you win. I'll allow you to leave your bed. But just to go to the settee and I won't compromise.

Joan understood it would be useless to ask for more.

-Alright, I'll go to the sofa but let me propose a compromise. You set yourself up on the table and I'll help you. I'll read the numbers and you can write.

-Well, that suits me. You know, the doctor said your wound had healed but you musn't do anything foolish. I'm telling you so for your own good. First I don't think you should carry Rozene. She's starting to be quite heavy and you could open up your wound.

Joan agreed, but out of everything that Ben had said, the one thing that stood out in her mind was that she could be close to him and that's what pleased her most.

-Where is Rozénée by the way ?

-She is outside with Joe . He's cleaning the barn.

-Oh oh, an extra chore ?

-Well , let say it's due to him being insolent for the umpteenth time. Ever since he's given a helping hand to Mrs Wilkes, he's been behaving as if he were the boss. Mind you, don't tell him this but I understand how he feels. He spent one week in the ranch , giving men orders, dealing with things, doing a man's job and all the power has gone to his head. He's a good boy, he is kind-hearted but he's not a man, not yet.

Someone slammed the door and a voice was heard.

-Pa, please, I need some help , quick.

Ben hurried to go down the last few steps with his wife in his arms, he rushed to put her onto the settee and followed his son.

-Don't move, sweetheart, and I MEAN IT.

Since he was speaking out of love , Joan let her dear husband speak. She knew his love for her was a protective love, tender and comforting. A refound happiness after so much suffering, distrust, dispair and loneliness. She no longer needed to be worried, his love for her was there, tender, sincere, possible. He, the man she had always been dreaming of, had offered her the ring, a home, a name and security. Security not only for her but for her child too. And nobody else could be a better father for her than Ben Cartwright.

****in the barn

-I'm looking for Rozene. I don't know where she is. She was there and two seconds later she wasn't there anymore.

Ben and Joe started looking everywhere in each corner of the barn. Ben tried not to think about all the scenarios rushing to his mind : there could be so many danger in this place for a small baby who was

trying to get up on its hands and knees in a crawling position.

Joe ran all over the place, bent down on his knees, and even climbed up the ladder to have a better overall view. They didn't manage to find her. There was no point in calling her name, she wouldn't answer. She had to be found quickly.

Crash

an ear-splitting noise sounded in the barn. Ben had just fallen flat on his face in the middle of a pile of hay.

-Are you alright, Pa ?

-NO, I'M NOT ALRIGHT. Can you tell me why those wretched harnesses are

not where they should be.

-Well, pa, you know, I was worried about Rozene. But I intended to pick them up.

-For goodness' sake Joe. Can you tell me the GOLDEN RULE :

-You should look where you're going !

-WHAT DID YOU SAY ?

Ben was choking with anger.

-You just watch it. _Wait _till _I catch you! _You won't make a fool of me. But … Ouch, I can't move. What's happened now ?

Joe cautiously went up to his pa carefully and tried to see what was preventing his father from moving. Ben was lying on his stomach on the floor, covered with hay, dirt and surrended by a heap of objects including a cooking pot, a milk churn and the lid of an old boiler and various tool handles. Apparently many things had fallen

like dominos as Ben has tripped over the harnesses. During the fall they had tilted over : the shovel and the rake had fallen on his back and the pitchfork had fallen on his legs.

-JOSEPH, I DEMAND THAT YOU REMOVE ALL THIS CLOBBER IMMEDIATELY , RIGHT NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

-Don't move, pa, I'm taking it of you, gritt your teeth, it's gonna hurt a bit.

-What ? What are you talking about ? OUCHHHHH

-Sorry pa, the pitchfork was stuck in your calf. But it isn't bleeding too much. I'll help you to go home to clean the wound.

-No WAY son. I'll go home and YOU pick up all that mess. I don't want to see a single bit of hay. DO I make myself clear ?

-Crystal clear Pa ; Oh look.

-yeya pa pa... »

Rozenée had coming to the barn , her nappy covered with hay and dirt. Joe helped his father stand up and then picked up the little girl in his arms.

-Ugh, what a horrible smell. Come on little adventurous lady.

Joe was holding her out at arms' length.  
.

-Well, What shall I do now then?

In fact he had a lot to do : he had to help his father walk back to the house, he had to put a clean nappy on the baby who was stinking out the Ponderosa air.

-Pa, I have something to do but I can't remember what.

-JOSEPH, Don't get on my nerves. I promise, I'm going to try to keep my temper.

In fact Joe knew his father was counting to ten to relief the tension.

-You can start by calling Will.

Ben tried to put his foot on the floor but groaned. It was painful. He limped towards the door and took the handle of a shovel as a support.

-Oh yeah, that's a good idea. He'll help me with cleaning the barn.

-Oh no, Son don't even think about it. The barn cleaning is exclusive to YOU

- At least, I'll have tried.

Ben crossed the yard slowly leaning on his makeshift walking stick. Joe followed him at a distance, he was holding Rozenee and was calling his cousin.

-Will, Will, can you come over here.

So Will suddenly shot out from behind the ranch ; perched on the back of a horse.

-Oh  
….

As the horse saw Ben in the middle of the yard, it reared up and bucked Will. He landed on the ground and just bit the dust but he didn't break his neck. He stood up with some bruises and a sore back and a sore bottom.

Ben, leaning on his stick limped towards his nephew.

-Are you alright, Will ?

-I think so Uncle Ben.

-That will teach you not to ride so fast into the yard. Damn it and blast it, what's got into both of you today ; have you completely forgoten the GOLDEN RULES. That's just crazy. We have just come twice within a hair's breadth of avoiding 2 catastrophes in a couple of minutes. What am I saying ? Twice ? Three times if we count Rozene's running away . Will, are you sure you're alright ?

-I'm fine, I've been through worse, you know.

-Well, good. So come with me, I need some help to put a clean nappy on Rozene.

-Hm, Uncle Ben, I'm not sure I'm the right person for that.

-I know, you're the one I need. You've got two legs, you'll get what I need in the nursery and Joan and I will manage to do the rest.

-Well, suit yourself, you're the one who decids.

-Thank goodness. Joe go back to the barn, NOW. Is that clear ?

-Yes sir.

****In the main room

-Oh no, Ben, what's happenend ?

-Nothing serious. A stupid accident, two prongs of a pitchfork landed in my calf.

-And you, sweetie, you're so filthy, what's happened to you ?

-She escaped, she was under Joe's care and she wandered into the yard. Not only at she needs to have her nappy changed. Alright, let's try and do things in a orderly fashion . Will, go upstairs, take a clean nappy and clothes for this young lady. Take the box with gauze and alcool, the doc has left some. I'll clean that wound and put on a  
dressing and then we'll clean this little bottom.

Joan was now on the sette, she had put her hand on the little girl's belly. Rozene was wringling about, her bottom in the air, while Ben was trying to put a clean nappy under her.

-Stop moving about, little rascal, or I'll prick your tummy, mumbled Ben with a safety pin between his lips.

With a firm hand he held the little miss's legs and with the other he slid the folded cotton triangle under her bottom. Then he placed the folded point between the baby's thighs before doing the same thing with the other points which he put on his little girl's chubby tummy. Finally he fastened everything with the safety pin. Then he knotted a second thicker nappy over the one he had just put on.

-There you're, all nice and dry. I'll just take of this blouse and put another one on. You'll be clean like a new pin.

Ben turned the baby over, put her on her tummy and started untying the ribbons on her back. Then he laid the little girl delicately on her back and took of her soiled clothes. He turned up the sleeve before slipping in his fingers to be able to put it on the child. Rozene protested and tried to throw her arms about even more.

-Honey pops, ; wait a minute, I haven't finished.

He smiled at the little girl and kissed her on her tummy quickly pulling on one sleeve after the other.

-That's it lovey, it's done.

He finished the last bow of ribbon and ponctuated his sentence with a resounding kiss on little Rozene's cheek. Then he put her into her wooden chair.

-Someone could offer me the moon, I wouldn't want it. Benjamin you're an extraordinary man. I was so moved to see you looking after Rozenee a moment ago. I'm really very lucky. And I love you Benjamin.

-I love you too, and even more since what has happened. I was so frightened of losing you.

Ben held his wife tenderly against him and pressed her for a long time against his heart.

-You're the greatest love of my life, my sweetheart,

Their lips came together in the silence of the room disturbed only by little Rozene's gurgling. A long, drawn-out kiss, with eyes closed to appreciate even more the magic of the moment. An inner turmoil overcame them, a wave of warmth swept through them.

-Let me have a look at your leg, murmured Joan , moving away from her husband's shoulder.

Ben, reluctantly, pulled up his trouser leg. His skin was pierced in two places behind his calf and a few drops of dried blood had soiled his sock. Ben took it of with a painful expression.

So Joan still sitting reached out to get the basket that Will had brought down. She took the bottle of alcool and moistened the gauze with it and started to clean the wounds.

-We're going to make a good team of parents, don't you think ? Stitched up and limping... That will be great.

Neither one of them could hold back the desire to laugh which was building up inside them. They just couldn't help themselves from bursting out laughing. The situation was so comical.

- oh, there you are together, Mrs Cartwright out of her bed, bent over her husband's trousers.

Paul's voice made them jump. Joan finished knoting the bandage around the calf of her heroïc husband. He had said absolutely nothing during the treatment.

-Ben, are you hurt ?

-Yes but nothing serious. The prongs of the pitchfork landed in my calf. My wife cleant the wound and has just finished the bandage.

-It's still a bit early to play at being a nurse, Mrs Cartwright. You're supposed to be convalescing.

-I know doc . I feel alright and somebody had to take care of this wound. You know that, if we don't look after ourselves, nobody will come to help us.

-Ben, I think I'm going to give in. Mrs Cartwright, you're the most stubb... , I mean the hardiest person I've ever known. You're getting over a serious injury, so promise me to take care of yourself.

-Yes doc, but I keep telling you that I'm well.

-Ben, I always thought that the Cartwright men weren't reasonable patients, but I have to admit that you have a knack of marrying women who are as just as unreasonnable as you. I've just come back from your son's ; Francesca was bent double with stomach pains and I found her on this morning ready to faint in the kitchen making a stew. Adam just had time to pick her up otherwise she would have fallen taking her pan of stew with her.

-And how is she ?

-Well, I managed to convince her to lie down for me to examin her. She only agreed because Adam had promised to watch over the stew.

-And then , tell us what was wrong with her. Was it food poisoning ? Adam had said, they had founds some mushrooms.

-No, don't worry, it wasn't food poisoning. You're going to be a grandfather, Ben. Francesca is expecting a child.

-Really ? A child. What good news. I'm so happy.

Ben limped to the door , opened it wide and as loud as he could , he called everybody :

-HOSS, Will; Joe; Hop Sing...

-Mistel Caltwlight , not yelling. Walls wele shaking.

-Pa, wha't the matter ?

-Adam is going to be a pa. Paul has just come from his house. Francesca is with child.

-Yahoo...

Joe threw his hat into the air and Hoss shouted with joy.

-Hop Sing, champagne... Let's celebrate that. Paul, have a drink with us.


End file.
